The woman in your life

The woman in your life.......

Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well.

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
Who is earning almost as much as you do;

Conversations To MySelf...Nelson Mandela

I am reading this Book "Conversation with Myself" by Nelson Mandela and trying to relive those feelings... No matter i may fail but i can still feel that how he was feeling and been through. I am reading each letter again and again and trying to Feel each word. Awesome Book it is.

Here is One Letter Excerpt from Book

Excerpt from a letter to Fatima meer, dated 1 march 1971

'I shall stick to our vow: never, never under any circumstances, to say anything unbecoming of the other... The trouble, of course, is that most successful men are prone to some form of vanity. there comes a stage in their lives when they consider it permissible to be egotistic and to brag to the public at large about there unique achievements. What a Sweet euphemism for self-praise the english language has evolved ! Autobiography ..."

Looks are deceptive

Since Morning I am thinking about money and life... i updated few status updates of FaceBook as well.

Then few minutes back i got call from my dear friend sarvesh, he might have read those updates. He asked me one thing and wanted me to write it on facebook status. I thought and started writing and then I thought cutting sort that thought won't be good... so here it is.


when a girl or boy (we can take man or woman for more adult side) is not good looking (physical appearance) or say fat and not in hour glass figure (for girls) and not having six pack body, chiseled body (for men). He/she will compromise/more understanding and humble will be so sweet to others and people will say "so sweet" or "nice person".

Now if a girl or boy is good looking or say with hour glass figure and jaw dropping appearance then he/she would be more arrogant and more demanding or say Nakhare !!!

Does that mean Looks Matter... Looks are deceptive !!! Does that mean we change our behavior based on how we look ?

There is a tiny miney Hippocrite in all of us.. accept it.

I am not so good looking (right now) but what will happen to my behavior if I'll be good looking with six pack abs and nice features.

In Above piece of thoughts it is not applicable to all, based on what we have seen and experienced we thought this and I wrote this. Exceptions are always there, in both cases

a not so good looking person with bad behavior and a wowsome looking person with humble behavior.

Mostly I believe we do keeping pity in our mind, like we do charity keeping pity in our thoughts. I go to NGOs not because I am pity on them or I am proud that i am better than them.

I believe they are kids with no parents or not educated parents, so it depends on upbringing, how we can make difference, so I go there to show them and to explain them the importance of good behavior and try to give them good thoughts, a small part of upbringing.

So say truth to yourself, if not to anyone just to yourself, look into your own eyes directly in a mirror and think of what you doing. Clear Conscience is mirror of a person. It helps, it helped me.

ROBOT!!!!

Hello World

From last couple of weeks am trying two numbers one is my cousin whom I lend some money and I needed money so thought to contact him, if he can return my money back (its been 3 years he took the money). So from last two weeks he stopped taking my calls.

Another is number of Mr. Pulkit Gaur, he is my friend... i don't know if I am his, but no reply from him either. He has time to add friends on facebook and for work, but he don't have time to pick my calls. I think he also think i am gonna ask some money from him :-|

It is different how people change, when they are in need they are super sweet to you, and then forget. I would say my friend Jasdeep and Sahil are not like that, they are I know can lend me money any time and I will make sure if i say by that time i will return I WILL, that applies vice versa.

Why I am writing this in a blog, because I saw updates from pulkit on twitter and am happy for that. Good for him, as his company now selected in RedHerring Asia 100 Finalist.

So I think, and think and find is it me only or everybody think like that. That you have to be sweet with someone in order to get your work done. Where goes the concept of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Till date i was thinking friendship is unconditional.

One more guy his name is Shailendar, he is dear friend of mine and when everything else give up i look at him and he say Okay !!! and it is not like i have to do some efforts to please him or other my friends.

Life teaches you lessons everyday, yet you make mistakes to learn more. In few weeks I am going to start all over again and I will keep these things in mind to help or being good to anyone.

There is this girl in my office, we go in bus together and the other day we were discussing about the alliances and togetherness, I told her that alone you can do many things, but in life you need friends to stand by you. Not like marriage is necessary but your friends are necessary.

For me Friends are bigger then to get married. I don't know how married life would be but friendship is here from long and helped me to grow what I was and what I am.

If no feelings then you are like ROBOT !!! Feelings make us different from machine, even animals do have feelings.

Still am not calmed after writing random paragraphs and writing random thoughts. I thought it will help me to get rid of those thoughts which are making whirl wind of thoughts in my mind and secreting some chemicals in body that now my body is so tired.

Thoughts are so powerful that you can make and break things.. make and break relations.

New Post

Okay From last so many days after navratri am eating in evening again !!!!

But Now am thinking in a month or two I'll be leaving, so i will start over again afresh. New Country New Start ^_^

Kind of lame excuse but these days am eating wisely not just eating all the time. Motto is still the same to reduce the weight. As I know around two years back i was only 85 Kg and now 100 KG :-|

So will write about weight loss when I will start again till then let me write something else.

Day - 19 Weight loss

Hello World

Yesterday was hard.... I didn't had anything just two apples so in night i was dead hungry... I ate Chane and pineapple... but now my mouth is getting sour... taste buds are clinging to get something spicy... they are not been exposed to the slightest spice in last five days... so it is kind of different and am urging to eat a lot... everywhere i can see the food.

What I do to distract is, I vision me standing there more than 100Kg with huge belly and few damn cool, sexy looking girls passing by, with pity look on their faces. I shrug it off and eat apple in real life.

Hope I keep up the Motivation to reduce the weight. I have to! !!!!!!!

Its the nineteenth Day and I should have lost oodles of weight if i have kept the exercise as prime component... sometimes I slip, but it is been success 90% and I believe if i keep this for 90 days I might reduce 10kg... which is good.

I have read somewhere if i keep this tight for 90 days at a stretch then after 90th day i won't feel it hard, it would be a part of my habit... or just my habit, to eat less and eat wise.

-Subhash

Day-18 Weight Loss

Hello World

Last three days were good.... Despite it was a weekend, I emerged as a winner :D was able to survive the temptations and had only fruits and vegetables.

For Nine days you get the motivation, I think if it were not the navratri i would have fall for that temptation. It was Navratri fast that made me going... and am doing this for all nine days...

I hope after nine days I'll be able to keep this, and with due course loose some weight.

Still the Exercise is the main thing, which is not happening. :(

-Subhash

Day - 11 Weight Loss

Hello World

I haven't checked my weight in last two weeks... plan is to go and check this weekend. Its been two weeks and yet i have to go to gym... all i did so far is control on food intake. I have to move my butt.

However, I am working more than 14 hours a day so not getting enuff time to spend on other things than work :( ..... Might be another excuse... I have to push my limits to achieve something good.

Today Plan is to eat only vegetables and fruits... no milk and milk products.

More later...

-Subhash

Day - 10 Weight Loss

Hello World

Its been last few days was not able to post, however on weekend I had a party and was off the track of the diet plan. Now back on the track and eating as planned.

Apart from getting drenched in the rain, and catching cough and cold, needed tea so had tea. I am continuing the medicines and no exception for that.

Still, I have to spend time on exercise, which so far didn't. In two days Navratra is getting started so for next nine days i will eat only fruits and vegetables. Navratri is the Indian festival in which we pray Goddess durga. For nine days i will have a reason not to eat, else when on diet sometimes you eat chupke se.

Hope I will start exercising soon again, this weekend I have to go to see a doctor for my increase Uric Acid level, i feel more tiered and pain i my wrist and ankle every morning, and this is now often.

-Subhash

What defines what we are and what we deserve

what defines what we are and what we deserve and Why ?

is it Karma ?? How ??

Today Saw a not so able man collecting waste from Bin and someone slapped him, I cried n he saw me crying n just smiled. What I was doing donno... what make me different from him... Why God made us so different one get food one get nothing. Why I deserve this luxury and he don't.

When I saw that guy he was quietly collecting waste from a bin outside one eatery. He was wearing a old coat, pants and shoes... Next thought came in my mind was, where he sleeps where he eat, where he do his daily activites.. these thoughts were so strong and so powerfull that next thing happen to me is i heard my heart beat and few tears came out... after that i cried like donno what... my friend who were with me they asked what happened... why you crying... I said I saw plight of a man, to just live.

While wrting this I donno why same face came again and am crying.. yes...


What karma is... what defines what we are... and what we would be.... Why that guy is suffering and am watching him suffering.


I will edit this post later... i am kind of filled with those thoughts again and don't have words to express...

But If GOD exists then why he do that to us. God says we are all his children, yet he do this to his children ???

:( :(

Day-3 Weight Loss

Hello World

So far so good except the gym part as am getting late in office everyday reaching home by Ten O'clock in night leaving to option to workout. I believe along with diet and this ayurvedic herbs exercise is the major thing am missing. If I start exercise then i will loose faster.

Two days went well with just a little glitches that I had a tea.... as in this diet program they say no to Milk and Milk Products.


Day-3 has started and I had that usual hot drink followed by the shake. Now in Office working. Will go for Lunch at around 01:00 P.M. till then i have loads of work which i have to finish, am already having three weeks backlog:(

Send me your ideas if you have any for the weight loss.

-Subhash

Day - 2 Weight Loss

Hello World

Day - 1 was good apart from the Gym thing, by the day end I was not in mood to go to Gym and it was late. Today again I'll be in office a little late. Yesterday I had this ayurvedic medicines and that was all with one shake and a light lunch.

Today is Tuesday and I am thinking to give some respect to my beloved God Hanuman ji. So thinking to eat only Vegetables and Fruits. The Shake is usual one in morning I had and in evening again will have one.

Though I strongly believe that there should be some physical exercise, however I don't have choice to run away from work, as am already behind schedule which is not good.

I have to finish tasks before this week end. :-| keeping this diet plan and the stuff am eating, I hope I stick to this plan keeping my energies high.

Day - 1 was Success as I say 80%... Day -2 Starts let see how will this go.

More will come...

Current Weight: 100 Kg
Target Weight: 85 Kg (In three Months)

-Subhash

Anarchy of Chaos

Why I kept that title of this post I don't know... but i feel bit weird today not sad not happy... not normal... When i woke up at arounf 05:30 A.M. today the first thought in my mind was related to the work which i have to finish, that is office work....

I miss those old days when i used to wake up with no thoughts just plain blank and mom used to say me... Have your tea else it will be cold. and then next action item would be reading news paper or plain simple talks with aunts and uncles ( I used to live in a joined extended family).... I guess this is why i feel uprooted most of the time... as now i live all alone no one around !!!


I am tierd of being surrounded by the feeling of insecure, unfocused, scared and loneliness...I want to be like when you wake up you feel the best with no tension and nothing... like we sometimes feel on saturday mornings. The next five days of the week decides the fate of the weekend.

I was writing because i wanted to share the feeling of that nostalgia which am facing right now... in morning all alone i was making my tea and sipping... now no one around to make me a tea and tell me to drinnk it else it will be cold... I made tea and was sipping while looking at trees from balcony and then it hit me... the thought. Big time Nostalgia... I opened my laptop and started writing...

Each Paragraph mean I stopped and took a sip or two of my tea and now as it is finished, i should go and take bath and start getting ready for the office.


What I need is the enthusiasm yes that is the word... that X factor is missing, at every party at every fun activity there is a constant fear on back of the mind, of what don't know.

Hope !! I will be better someday...

Never Say Never

I was talking to one of my friend via email... and sent her one Poem about inspirational and not to give up... this is a poem which I heard in school, and our teacher used to sing this poem with his superb voice, what a power he had.

Here is the Poem by Dr. Harivansh Rai Bacchan

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Its been ages, remembered few friends I thought college days..Shailendar, Vikas, Gagan, Chirag, Aashish, Manan, Saurav, Manish, Tarun, Sandeep, DD, RajPal..Gang goes on an On,Before My college days i was like dork (Yes u can call Dumb)... Those days were best days of my life... COllege Days. I hope to meet many of them soon again... Shailli am meeting today.

There is One person called Pulkit Gaur... and omore Dinesh, Vrajesh, Sarvesh and few more in Vodafone M&G.... List is Endless.

Few in Office Few on FaceBack and On Twitter.

Spreading the Love of Friendship Day... Happy Friendship day My Friends


F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Forever !!!!! I owe you all a lot my Friends !!!!

In your Thoughts Lies Ignorance

Monday May 17, 2010

In your Thoughts Lies Ignorance


Or we can say more knowledge makes you skeptical… when was the last time I took a decision without thinking of the consequences or things which will happen after that decision or action. I don’t know. The problem is more I know more it affects my decision making power, sometimes it is good sometimes it makes me think what I have become. Your past knowledge and experiences affect your current decisions. I guess that is why they say “All Good decisions come from bad experiences and all good experiences came from bad decisions”.

Which means my past experiences (read: bad experiences) are affecting my current decisions, but I am not able to figure out are the good decisions or just better. My past experiences are restricting me from taking any decision.

I don’t know what I want, but what I feel is if I am happy and I am not ashamed of the company of particular person and not getting irritated then this is it. That is a Go for me, but here same time this should be the case for the other person as well else it won’t work. I know I am bad at relationships (as per my past experiences) but then my take on this is, those people were on other plane and I was on the other.. for time being they jumped up to my plane to be with me which made them uncomfortable in long run, which lead them to say me bye.

I met few people in last couple of days and am thinking… thinking a lot about someone. Now that leads again to the old time which I have been through. Here to take next step am kind of scared and my past experiences are haunting me to take any decision. I Feel so closed and dead inside. The Good thing of decisions is that once you take the decision you are clear within and then you get result, you will not spent time keep on guessing, that keep on guessing time makes you creepy and unfocused, you can’t focus on your work on your other activities.

So right now that is the case and am trying to find out the reason. Most of the time it happens that I don’t take any decision. Which means it is itself a decision, which push me more on the low side and gloomy I guess.

I think I will wait for a while and let the things flow as they are going and will see with time. It is easy to say no expectations, but you can’t stop your mind to imagine. Imagination is unstoppable and I think a lot and my imagination has really big wings and sometimes it is hard to stop it. More I imagine more I went unto this… which makes me in real life weird!!! I wish things get clear soon (for me) so that I can concentrate on other part of my life. Sigh !!

Checking Add This Gadget

Hi Guys

I read about an article last week in Times Of India and liked that.. since then on Twitter I am following Sensonize

India Inc wakes up to social media

Tuesday July 7, 2009

Morning when I was entering the office I saw one magazine kept near sofa, on cover page I saw some familiar logos like Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn then for a second I stopped by and read the line “India Inc wakes up to social media”



I came in and after some usual work I couldn’t resist myself to find that article online. Found it and after reading it I thought to update my blog. From last few weeks am thinking on things to do and things which are happening in and around. I believe my thought sometimes (rather all the times) are scattered and they kept of wandering in the space to find the answers… answers are there however due to not so focused approach am not able to find them. Like I say I live in a material world and whatever happens around me affects me, I met many people online and gone through their profiles.. they have transformed yes transformed because considering the change is to time ratio that is huge and people has done remarkable things in short time and got recognition. Recognition I believe is one thing which is bigger than the money. I met those people (Julia Roy, Akanksha Redhu, Neha Tiwari, Naina Redhu) on social media/ networking website and found them interesting and impressed by their work.

I sometimes feel am at the wrong place, I do not belong here… writing code and doing same work… I believe I belong to internet… then why am here why not like others (okay here again comparison) am doing things online and make my own outstanding, I guess my excuse (yes excuse not reason…accept it) for this is I am bound by many things and am not focused.. what I do to be focused… nothing !!! when I read such things and feel I can also do things like this and a lot better than this then for time being I get focused and with time it all settled down. It gives me irritating feeling that I don’t want to be like others who just live.. I want to be a part of that group who makes the difference.. I have to be disciplined and regular…

I promised myself that I will make one post everyday on my blog… like that I can with time make some presence on internet and then can say am doing things from quite some time. Now after so many days am posting again…

I promised myself that I will study regularly and hard so that I can come out from this rat race.. coz I believe only higher education can catapult my career now not simple every year changes.. what I want from life is I want to make a difference.. I read every day in newspaper that some guy did some remarkable… now go back to that guy’s profile and check out what and when he did… first help yourself then help others… am not helping myself!!!!

I promised myself that by the time now I will be a happy and relaxed person… am I ??? I guess I will never… coz my priorities are different from others and my thinking level is different.. and you cannot change a person until he/she want to change himself/herself by own. That is all mind set and willingness to change.

Hope Now I get focused as I am done with my work quite some.. and writing blog. I sometimes feel scared and not free.. why I don’t know. Why am scared and from whom am scared. I applied simple theory.. that when I do something wrong or don’t do what I a meant to do then I feel scared. I am also scared of change though change is inevitable but it gives me those sleepless nights… but it helps me to grow.

Hope this time change will come after some time and I will stay put and learn new things.

If you read again you will find mixture of thought and kind of mess of thought (*yes that is the right word)… I will keep on blogging and update here with new mess-of-thoughts

I started yesterday for my home to attend a marriage back here...many things happened on the way.. i thought to write them in some chronological order.. but not today thought to write that in some time...but when i came home then i got some shocking news and some updates which I expected to hear well before...

My mom had High Blood Pressure problem and she was admit in hospital for 3 days.... no body informed for that... then after that my dad met an accident and again am not informed... Now I am feeling bit different, I don't know why they didn't told me about that. Those two things now people are say were real serious and critical but why then nobody informed me. I am now not able to understand the seriousness of the situation now... and what should I do... how should i react to this. I am not that bad dad....


I am not feeling bad and am feeling bad for that that am not feeling bad for this.... Damn !!!! am not suppose to write a blog here when am on vacation and attending a marriage.. but these things made me to think what I am and why I am like this...so writing this blog !!!!!

Life..Last One Year - In a Nutshell

Sunday June 14, 2009

Hi All… I wrote some part of this post yesterday and some part today… so Publishing it Today….

Today I completed one full year in Pune… a year back on 14th June 2008 I landed on Pune Airport… I shifted from Ahmedabad (Gujarat) to Pune(Maharashtra) for better future and for growth. I was in Ahmedabad for almost 3 long years and I enjoyed my stay there… had some lifetime experiences and learnt many lessons of life. Shifted Jobs and stepped into many roles… one of them was of entrepreneur and it was great experience… Worked with Pulkit and started some ventures, Now I have my experiences and lessons which I learnt and Pulkit is doing really great in his ventures now. I don’t know why but I came back to this rat race, I hope soon I will be able to break these shackles and step out of rat race and pursue my heart… Entrepreneurship is not an easy pie to gulp it tests your nerves and believe me who are rock solid in their ideas and focused only they can survive… people like me come back to this material world as they have some different thinking towards life and they want to do many things in life.. they do day dreaming to achieve what they think.. but are scared of more than one things, they are not cowards but just they can’t live upto their own expectations and can’t stop comparing their life with others.

Someone told me, “You are living for yourself or for others”.. I think we all live for others and for ourselves, thing is we don’t admit… take a test… first rule is you are not going to talk about this to anyone else and you will be Truthful and won’t lie… now stand in front of a mirror….in which you can see yourself from head to toe… stand naked and look directly in eyes and ask questions like what you want from life… it is like kind of self evaluation… don’t be modest… think what you dream of, think what you like to be, think of what luxury you want in life.. and blah blah blah…. You will find your answers… We all live in material world and we want attention from others, we feel confident when people give us such looks, it satisfies our ego !!! and there is no harm in satisfying ourselves.

I have heard people saying, I don’t care how I look and what people think of me. Okay no problem, tell those people to be truthful to themselves only no one else on earth for once and look into mirror. They will also compare… So that is human psyche… not a problem.

So People back to the topic that I have completed my one year in Pune, I shared what I learnt in Ahmedabad, I met many nice people few of them are Pulkit and his family(for which I feel they are my family too), Tushar Anjaria, My first and only Girlfriend who dumped me in less than a year, Raghav, Firoz, Sathish Bhai, Imran Bhai, Chintan Vyas, Geetika Garg, I-link people, Vivek Joshi, Jasdeep, Sahil, Gaurav, Hitesh Desai, Ketan Solanki, My sister shifted then there so her family Colonel Uncle, Manish Bhai ( breakfast cab guy outside IIM-A), Ashish Verma (my college time buddy shifted to Ahmedabad)… there are hundreds of more people… I am lucky that I met them there…

That was Ahmedabad as I spent 3 years there… I came to Pune and main reason of coming to Pune was growth and career as well as my Friends who were already in Pune and they told me Pune is really really great place.. last one year was really nice for me… I had my lessons with me so I thought not to repeat my mistakes so I was extra cautious on professional as well as on personal (remember I was already dumped) front… I thought to concentrate only on work and do nothing else.. first few months I enjoyed a lot as when I shifted to Pune that time it was monsoon season and my friend vikas was pioneer of one Biking Group Bladerunnerzzz and I joined him on one ride… and it was great experience altogether.

By the time I shifted Pune it was like recession started… or say it was coming in front with full swing and impact was seen …. Then soon Lehman Brothers Collapse and other things one after another….Mean time I was also going through one complete culture change as I had spent 3 years in Ahmedabad and in Ahmedabad it is conservative culture where as in Pune it is altogether Fun and Open culture… I tried to restrict myself and was successful in that….Okay as per some previous posts it shows that I was passing through some turbulence but it was just a turbulence not my destination.

Then came the Recession Blow on me… I was asked to perform in my current role else go home… It was like question on my authority and my work… I knew I was not bad at work but due to some reason, some people put me on back foot. I took it as challenge and thought if ever I have to leave then I will first prove them that I was not wrong, my performance was not bad.. it was a poor management of resources and lack of knowledge in specific field in which I work. So I worked hard (yes hard coz if I had worked smart then there will never be a situation to work hard)… and sustained the recession blow… and continuing with my organization…

That time I learnt my corporate lessons and now implementing in current project and role… That time I got calls from other companies as well but I thought to stay with current organization for little long as I don’t have reason to change my job again…


Tomorrow on June 16, 2009 I will complete my 1 year in my current organization… okay logically I have completed but I joined my current organization on June 16, 2008.

I don't know how much I am successful to make my future better, I believe I will stay as is until I come out of rat race... I Came from Ahmedabad to Pune for better future.. initial days I felt i did a terrible mistake as I stayed in Ahmedabad for 3 years and I was attached to the city and people out there imotionally and I felt Nostalgic for initial few months.. I am lucky that I have friends here so they were here with me for my change...Change is Inevitable and Change makes you strong and helps you in Growing Up. Hope I will stay Little Longer in this Beautiful City

I wish myself all the best for my work and my Job… Wish me people that I give always an honest efforts in what I do !!!