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Showing posts with label Home. Show all posts

Monday, September 20, 2010

Anarchy of Chaos

Why I kept that title of this post I don't know... but i feel bit weird today not sad not happy... not normal... When i woke up at arounf 05:30 A.M. today the first thought in my mind was related to the work which i have to finish, that is office work....

I miss those old days when i used to wake up with no thoughts just plain blank and mom used to say me... Have your tea else it will be cold. and then next action item would be reading news paper or plain simple talks with aunts and uncles ( I used to live in a joined extended family).... I guess this is why i feel uprooted most of the time... as now i live all alone no one around !!!

I am tierd of being surrounded by the feeling of insecure, unfocused, scared and loneliness...I want to be like when you wake up you feel the best with no tension and nothing... like we sometimes feel on saturday mornings. The next five days of the week decides the fate of the weekend.

I was writing because i wanted to share the feeling of that nostalgia which am facing right now... in morning all alone i was making my tea and sipping... now no one around to make me a tea and tell me to drinnk it else it will be cold... I made tea and was sipping while looking at trees from balcony and then it hit me... the thought. Big time Nostalgia... I opened my laptop and started writing...

Each Paragraph mean I stopped and took a sip or two of my tea and now as it is finished, i should go and take bath and start getting ready for the office.

What I need is the enthusiasm yes that is the word... that X factor is missing, at every party at every fun activity there is a constant fear on back of the mind, of what don't know.

Hope !! I will be better someday...