Monday May 17, 2010
In your Thoughts Lies Ignorance
Or we can say more knowledge makes you skeptical… when was the last time I took a decision without thinking of the consequences or things which will happen after that decision or action. I don’t know. The problem is more I know more it affects my decision making power, sometimes it is good sometimes it makes me think what I have become. Your past knowledge and experiences affect your current decisions. I guess that is why they say “All Good decisions come from bad experiences and all good experiences came from bad decisions”.
Which means my past experiences (read: bad experiences) are affecting my current decisions, but I am not able to figure out are the good decisions or just better. My past experiences are restricting me from taking any decision.
I don’t know what I want, but what I feel is if I am happy and I am not ashamed of the company of particular person and not getting irritated then this is it. That is a Go for me, but here same time this should be the case for the other person as well else it won’t work. I know I am bad at relationships (as per my past experiences) but then my take on this is, those people were on other plane and I was on the other.. for time being they jumped up to my plane to be with me which made them uncomfortable in long run, which lead them to say me bye.
I met few people in last couple of days and am thinking… thinking a lot about someone. Now that leads again to the old time which I have been through. Here to take next step am kind of scared and my past experiences are haunting me to take any decision. I Feel so closed and dead inside. The Good thing of decisions is that once you take the decision you are clear within and then you get result, you will not spent time keep on guessing, that keep on guessing time makes you creepy and unfocused, you can’t focus on your work on your other activities.
So right now that is the case and am trying to find out the reason. Most of the time it happens that I don’t take any decision. Which means it is itself a decision, which push me more on the low side and gloomy I guess.
I think I will wait for a while and let the things flow as they are going and will see with time. It is easy to say no expectations, but you can’t stop your mind to imagine. Imagination is unstoppable and I think a lot and my imagination has really big wings and sometimes it is hard to stop it. More I imagine more I went unto this… which makes me in real life weird!!! I wish things get clear soon (for me) so that I can concentrate on other part of my life. Sigh !!