I don't know but why should I care...people around me knowingly or unknowingly speak wrong about me and portray my image in bad way. Why should I care about those people. The world is hypocrite so am I that is why i care because there are some things for which my interest is attached to those people.
Since Morning I am thinking about money and life... i updated few status updates of FaceBook as well.
Then few minutes back i got call from my dear friend sarvesh, he might have read those updates. He asked me one thing and wanted me to write it on facebook status. I thought and started writing and then I thought cutting sort that thought won't be good... so here it is.
when a girl or boy (we can take man or woman for more adult side) is not good looking (physical appearance) or say fat and not in hour glass figure (for girls) and not having six pack body, chiseled body (for men). He/she will compromise/more understanding and humble will be so sweet to others and people will say "so sweet" or "nice person".
Now if a girl or boy is good looking or say with hour glass figure and jaw dropping appearance then he/she would be more arrogant and more demanding or say Nakhare !!!
Does that mean Looks Matter... Looks are deceptive !!! Does that mean we change our behavior based on how we look ?
There is a tiny miney Hippocrite in all of us.. accept it.
I am not so good looking (right now) but what will happen to my behavior if I'll be good looking with six pack abs and nice features.
In Above piece of thoughts it is not applicable to all, based on what we have seen and experienced we thought this and I wrote this. Exceptions are always there, in both cases
a not so good looking person with bad behavior and a wowsome looking person with humble behavior.
Mostly I believe we do keeping pity in our mind, like we do charity keeping pity in our thoughts. I go to NGOs not because I am pity on them or I am proud that i am better than them.
I believe they are kids with no parents or not educated parents, so it depends on upbringing, how we can make difference, so I go there to show them and to explain them the importance of good behavior and try to give them good thoughts, a small part of upbringing.
So say truth to yourself, if not to anyone just to yourself, look into your own eyes directly in a mirror and think of what you doing. Clear Conscience is mirror of a person. It helps, it helped me.
what defines what we are and what we deserve and Why ?
is it Karma ?? How ??
Today Saw a not so able man collecting waste from Bin and someone slapped him, I cried n he saw me crying n just smiled. What I was doing donno... what make me different from him... Why God made us so different one get food one get nothing. Why I deserve this luxury and he don't.
When I saw that guy he was quietly collecting waste from a bin outside one eatery. He was wearing a old coat, pants and shoes... Next thought came in my mind was, where he sleeps where he eat, where he do his daily activites.. these thoughts were so strong and so powerfull that next thing happen to me is i heard my heart beat and few tears came out... after that i cried like donno what... my friend who were with me they asked what happened... why you crying... I said I saw plight of a man, to just live.
While wrting this I donno why same face came again and am crying.. yes...
What karma is... what defines what we are... and what we would be.... Why that guy is suffering and am watching him suffering.
I will edit this post later... i am kind of filled with those thoughts again and don't have words to express...
But If GOD exists then why he do that to us. God says we are all his children, yet he do this to his children ???
Or we can say more knowledge makes you skeptical… when was the last time I took a decision without thinking of the consequences or things which will happen after that decision or action. I don’t know. The problem is more I know more it affects my decision making power, sometimes it is good sometimes it makes me think what I have become. Your past knowledge and experiences affect your current decisions. I guess that is why they say “All Good decisions come from bad experiences and all good experiences came from bad decisions”.
Which means my past experiences (read: bad experiences) are affecting my current decisions, but I am not able to figure out are the good decisions or just better. My past experiences are restricting me from taking any decision.
I don’t know what I want, but what I feel is if I am happy and I am not ashamed of the company of particular person and not getting irritated then this is it. That is a Go for me, but here same time this should be the case for the other person as well else it won’t work. I know I am bad at relationships (as per my past experiences) but then my take on this is, those people were on other plane and I was on the other.. for time being they jumped up to my plane to be with me which made them uncomfortable in long run, which lead them to say me bye.
I met few people in last couple of days and am thinking… thinking a lot about someone. Now that leads again to the old time which I have been through. Here to take next step am kind of scared and my past experiences are haunting me to take any decision. I Feel so closed and dead inside. The Good thing of decisions is that once you take the decision you are clear within and then you get result, you will not spent time keep on guessing, that keep on guessing time makes you creepy and unfocused, you can’t focus on your work on your other activities.
So right now that is the case and am trying to find out the reason. Most of the time it happens that I don’t take any decision. Which means it is itself a decision, which push me more on the low side and gloomy I guess.
I think I will wait for a while and let the things flow as they are going and will see with time. It is easy to say no expectations, but you can’t stop your mind to imagine. Imagination is unstoppable and I think a lot and my imagination has really big wings and sometimes it is hard to stop it. More I imagine more I went unto this… which makes me in real life weird!!! I wish things get clear soon (for me) so that I can concentrate on other part of my life. Sigh !!